Yarr harr fiddle de... oh f*$k...

So, there I was, storming along in my preparations for Winds of War 13 when the tournament pack finally came out, and my plan has completely come off the rails.

So yeah, I designed my army with last years restrictions on heavy vehicles in mind, meaning my two raiders plus two squads of wyches and a beastmaster with razorwing flocks was fine. Then the tournament pack has come out, and restricted the field to 2HP vehicles... So pretty much none of the transports, just light walkers and buggies.

You are allowed ONE 2+HP vehicle, provided it doesn't break the 33 armour value rule. That is, one for your combined force. So I'm still screwed.

I've emailed for clarification, because it seems a drastic change from last year. Chimera spam was annoying but you could still deal with it, and vehicles being easier to glance to death now I wouldn't have had a problem with facing them again. One of the more hated armies for small scale games would be venom spam, and that is STILL legal under this tournament pack. It doesn't make much sense.

The tournament pack was pretty clear and it didn't seem like a mistake, though it is a very drastic change from last year, which is why I've queried it. But it didn't look or feel like a misprint... it felt like a deliberate change of the way they want their combat patrol games to work. Which means that the nice little 500 point force I've been working through, am more than half finished, will be illegal. I can try to keep the stuff I've done and adapt the rest but I'm not sure how it's gonna work out...

Watch this space...

Why I should learn to keep my big mouth shut...

This won't be the usual kind of post, I'm going off-topic with this one. I'm planning to discuss movies. The inspiration came from perusing my game shelf trying to think of something that may be worth writing about, I spotted my old "Red Storm Rising" and "Hunt for Red October" games. This got me thinking about Tom Clancy and the ones that had been made into movies, and I came up with the idea of a post entitled:

Why There Won't Be Any More Jack Ryan Movies

Sadly it seems, hollywood has not read the script. I had an idea in mind for what to write about and just wanted to grab a couple of images off google to break the article up a bit, and lo and behold I find there actually will be another Jack Ryan movie. I will enter into the reasons for my despair later, but for now I'm going to start with the basis of my original thought, hastily rephrased to:

Why There Won't Be Any More Jack Ryan Movies That Are Even Remotely Connected to the Source Material

This title I have to admit, isn't quite as snappy... hence why I went with the one about learning to keep my mouth shut. Sure they've clearly been working on it a while, but equally I'd held this opinion for a while... I can't help but feel I've jinxed this into happening!

The Good

Ok, let's start off with the positive. Jack Ryan is the lead character in the majority of the books written by Tom Clancy. Readers follow his career (and that of his compatriots) through decades of espionage, government service, and eventually political life. The movies started off portraying some of these aspects quite well. Ok, they were condensed, as movies made from books always are to fit into a commercially viable running time, but generally they followed the basics of the plot quite well. Jack Ryan was first played by Alec Baldwin, and in the second and third movies by Harrison Ford. The movies saw the character older, and the actor was older too. This was acceptable. Admittedly, Patriot Games was chronologically set before Red October in the books, but not many people would have been aware of that, and it wasn't much difference in time anyway. I considered both actors to play the part of Jack Ryan well. Jack Ryan was in far more action than would normally be expected for an analyst while Harrison Ford played the part, but even then he portrayed a reluctant action star - not swaggering around perfectly at home, more someone who was caught in a bad situation and was merely trying to keep control of things. This suited the character well.

The Bad

We then move on to The Sum of All Fears. Hollywood decided to cast Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan. To cover the sudden youth of the character, they reset the Jack character to be far earlier in his career and love-life. As reboots go this was a poor move, as for one reason by putting him far earlier in his career he was a lowly analyst... and therefore hardly likely to be involved in decisions of magnitude or able to access the areas or speak with the Russian president with great trust. In the book, Jack Ryan used his wealth of experience and "enemy" contacts to save the day. In the book, it was the "dinosaur" Jack Ryan being marginalized and ignored by the hip young political elite who thought war would never threaten them. Suddenly, in the movie, it's the youthful Jack Ryan saving the world from the political dinosaurs who want to nuke everyone because they can't get past their paranoia about the bad old days.I suppose I can see why they swung it a little bit - movie audiences are far more likely to be the hip young people than the dinosaurs, so you want your audience to feel good about themselves. But of course just reinforcing the young audiences attitudes won't help them realise that experienced people have opinions of value, but I guess it's not a movies responsibility to teach appreciation for ones elders. Above all else though, I thought this was a bad time to reboot the franchise, because I didn't see where they'd go from here, as explained below.

The Ugly

In this post 9/11 world can you ever honestly see someone making a movie where someone makes a suicide dive with a fully fueled jet plane into a building wiping out most of the US government? Of course not, people would say it was too close to the mark. But the next book in line after The Sum Of All Fears is Debt of Honour, which ends with exactly that occurrence. This was written before 9/11 - in fact I have often wondered if Tom Clancy ever felt some remorse, that he may have given the terrorists ideas? Highly unlikely, any idea for destruction can be thought up by more than one person... but it did seem like the rate of book release dropped off after 9/11 as Tom Clancy started to be more of an umbrella release name for other authors carrying on his style of work.

Now with this book off the table and all other books following on from it kinda being nailed to the pivotal plot moment where the US government gets wiped out and Jack Ryan ascends to the presidency (albeit reluctantly) it does leave the question of where, if The Sum of All Fears was intended as a reboot, did they intend to go? They can't follow the next books, and the few former books that were skipped out were in a different world (usually related to the cold war, meaning Ben Affleck can't be involved there, as Sum of All Fears was set in the modern day.

So I really saw nowhere for them to go.

Which brings us to Jack Ryan, the movie, to be released in 2013.

From what I can understand, it includes Jack Ryan (funnily enough) against a terrorist plot by Russia to destroy the US economy. I guess they could be taking one of the plot strands from Executive Orders for this, but it seems more likely that there is no literary connection whatsoever. The new Jack Ryan is played by yet another actor, who seems even younger than Affleck.

Which begs the question, if it's not got the same actor, and it's not based on the novels, what exactly is the point of making that tenuous connection to the character? You may as well call the movie something else and give the guy an original name! I can't see many people who are fans of Tom Clancys Jack Ryan going, and if they aren't fans... then the name is meaningless!

It seems it is just there to annoy me... Studio, I give you the Ford finger. Leave Tom Clancy alone, you've done enough damage already...

We shall need a crossbow, an hourglass, three goats, one of us must learn to play the trumpet, whilst the other one goes like this.

An update to the Pirates project...

The Pearl is ready! I never thought that a sewing kit would ever form part of my warhammer 40k painting tools, but hey ho life throws unexpected items at you sometimes. Here are a few snaps of The Pearl, ready to sail...

Hoist the Colours!

Power Through P... RUM!

This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost...

So, I have finally made a start on my Pirates project.

First up I've been working on one of the raiders, in the case The Pearl. I wanted to make a couple of conversions to this so that it was still easily recognisable as a raider, but also clearly fitting into my new theme.

The first idea I had was to change the main armament. I wanted to put a cannon on board. I had planned to represent this by using the gun option of disintegrator CANNON, but when I realised this would leave me with NO anti-tank in my force I re-thought this. I instead am sticking with a dark lance, but the lance will be a physical lance, fired from a cannon! Presumably it explodes once it's penetrated the target for those who are wondering what effect firing a sharp stick will have against a tank, but still.

Next up I wanted to change the aethersails. I wanted something more western and like a traditional pirate. I have made the mastwork I wish to use, and after I've painted the model I shall make some sails and rigging to go with it. The pictures are to the right and below.

Since these pictures were taken I've added a couple of extras - namely a skeleton as the figurehead and a barrel of rum on deck - my power through pain will be power through rum, therefore instead of grisly trophies (reroll Ld tests in range) it'll be extra rum rations for the same effect!

I also made my first squad of wyches, the crew for the pearl. I used mostly the wyches kit, but also some pieces from the Empire Militia box and the Dark Elf Corsair box.

 As for the sea turtles I mentioned the other day... when confused as to what I could do that would be piratey yet would represent a skyboard... I came up with the idea of lashing a couple of sea turtles and making them into a raft. And while so far I've only secured them with green stuff and superglue, I do intend to make the bond secure, with human hair. From my back...

Anyway, I have modelled the Beastmaster in place too...

So, as my project get's under way, I can merely hope to motivate my compatriot and team mate into starting by insulting his cause...

Ninjas are mean, as proved by the following. Pirates are too cool to do such petty things as the following...

Razorwings...

So, it was my birthday the other day...

Which meant Cake!

Oh, and also some nice people sent me birthday money, including my fellow blogger Firewasp. Muchly appreciated, as it has allowed me to order the stuff I need to make a start on this pirate project I've been itching to get going on. I've ordered two boxes of wyches and two raiders. I already had my sea turtles, which I've started working on (I need to lash them together with human hair... from my back...) and have also got my razorwing flocks. I wasn't too keen on the GW model (the price was rather off putting, and peoples suggestion of breaking it down into several bases to get your monies worth... well, as the ducks in Open Season state, you can't flock with only two. So anyway, for the razorwing flocks I've picked up the models below from Reaper miniatures.

Sadly no more to say just yet, just gotta wait on the bloody postman now... c'mon, c'mon! :oP

Sea Turtles, matey...

The answer to any pirates riddle.

With these arrived, my bitz also, I'm just waiting on my razorwing flocks... and the cash to buy the two boxes of wyches and two raiders I need, then I can start this project. Itching to make a start on it...

Setting Sail for Winds of War 13...

Those of you who have come to read Insane Heroism having read either Ignatum or Need More Tanks will have seen in the past that Firewasp and I have attended events run by Bracknell Forest Gamers. This event was something our friends went to and reported back favourably on, and so we went along. We too enjoyed our experience, and the pleasant atmosphere combined with it being roughly halfway between where we live has made it into our most regular tournament spot for the past few years.

Now personally I like to do theme armies for Winds of War - it's combat patrol, so 500 points let's me play with things outside my usual comfort zone without committing to an entirely new army. It also lends itself well to small, themed forces. Now in one instance, my Star Wars Guard, I ended up having more theme ideas than 500 points could contain... that army currently sitting pretty at a 2k list, but for the most part 500 points is a fun thing to work with, and if you want a reminder of the crazy stuff I've done check back over this fifth edition review...

Of course, one of our best was the team effort one we did for Halohammer, in 2011. That year we picked up the much coveted Fergus Award, and had a cracking time with a fantastically themed force. Well, we want our trophy back...

Now various ideas had been passed back and forth between us, and some of these may get done in the future... from formula one race teams to classic cartoons to other popular films. But it was something someone said in passing down the local GW that finally clicked into place. They said they'd love to see Dark Eldar, being piratical raiders, converted into something more nautically themed. I was itching to get working on this, being a well known pirate fan. But could we do this for Winds? We'd need something to compliment it, and I didn't think Firewasp was particularly interested in pirates... and then the flash of inspiration occurred...

Ninjas

Ninjas and Pirates, natural enemies, thrust together on the field of battle and forced to work together! Needless to say, Firewasp saw the potential in the idea so we set to planning lists. At first we thought that Death Cult assassins would make great ninjas, but sadly there was no way to get them into the list as scoring in a combat patrol, and we couldn't think of a good way to get the Troops of Grey Knights into the list. We toyed with the idea of samurai but felt that we'd have a very small scoring unit, and no transportation for the army at all. As much as we like a theme, we'd still like it to be playable. Which is a shame as the distrsutful allies of Dark Eldar and Grey Knights would have perfectly suited the relationship between Ninjas and Pirates.

In the end we found that the best bet was a dual Dark Eldar force. We'd just use modelling and painting to define the differences, though using different transports in each list would also help. So, the army lists.

Ninjas

5 wyches (1 hydra gauntlet) inc hekatrix with Blaster Pistol and Power Weapon
ded tran Dual splinter cannon venom with night shields (sneaky ninjas)

5 wyches (1 hydra gauntlet) inc hekatrix with Blaster Pistol and Power Weapon
ded tran Dual splinter cannon venom with night shields (more sneaky ninjas)

10 mandrakes lead by nightfiend - because these guys look very manga and kinda fit the feel of the army

Pirates

10 wyches (2 with shardnets and impalers - they look so nautical!) hekatrix with agoniser
ded tran Raider Shock Prow, Enhanced Aethersails (we're pirates, we NEED sails) Grisly Trophies


10 wyches (2 with shardnets and impalers - they look so nautical!) hekatrix with agoniser
ded tran Raider Shock Prow, Enhanced Aethersails, Grisly Trophies and Torment Grenade Launcher

Beastmaster with two flocks of razorwings


I had ideas for how my army works the moment someone raised the idea of pirate dark eldar back in the workshop... my guys wouldn't use power from pain, they'd get power from RUM! Win a fight, have a drink! As they get more sozzled they feel pain less, gain drunken strength and eventually get so bladdered they feel immortal and become fearless. In my army, Grisly Trophies will be renamed Spare Rum Supplies! THere'll be rum everywhere!

The flocks of razorwings are because someone suggested painting them up as parrots. I did at first struggle with the idea of getting a Beastmaster on a skyboard into the theme, but eventually I struck upon some inspiration. Hell, if the pirate ships are represented by raiders, there's no reason other modes of transport can't move with the times too.

The torment grenade launcher is to represent the terror one of the vessels will inspire in the enemy. For I will of course be going with popular culture for inspiration for my pirates, and one of my raiders will be black, the other more ghostly and rotten.

Yes, I plan to go into battle with both the Black Pearl AND the Flying Dutchman!

Anyway, I've started getting supplies from ebay and checking my bitzboxes... just waiting on some money to come through from one of several overdue directions and I'll pick up the necessary Dark Eldar boxsets and make a start.

I'll leave it to Firewasp to explain what he wants to do with his force. I imagine some ninja/pirate banter will develop over the coming months. Hey, we're working together, no one ever said these two would be friends.

But for now, just for a short while, they may not be the absolute worst of enemies. Ninjas are merely rivals to Pirates... much like Acrington Stanley are rivals to Manchester United... ;oP